On The Road
by GwendolenFairfax
Summary: In the distant or not so distant future. On the road. Edward and Jasper. The discovery of slowness and thoughts about TV shows. Oneshot. Rated T for some innuendo.


Hello there!

Now it's time for some comic relief. Writing "Last One Standing" is emotionally exhausting and I need some distraction. When I went out shopping today, I had this idea for a little side piece. You have to judge if it was a good one. I will be very happy if you review.

6/2/11 - I've made some slight changes and corrected some errors.

**Please note: **No native speaker here! Errors may occur (especially since I didn't ask Kristen to revise it).

**Disclaimer: **Seems like I own nothing but the idea.

**On The Road**

_In the distant or not so distant future_

The sky was cloudy. Our rusty Mercedes 190 E 2.0 was dawdling, no creeping down Highway 101, heading for Amanda Park. I tapped my fingers impatiently against the window of the passenger's seat. The passenger's seat! He didn't seem to notice and continued singing along with the tune. _"I hear the roar of a big machine/ Two worlds and in between/ Love lost, fire at will."_ His voice is slightly raspy and sounds nice. But the fact that he sang about the roar of a big machine while he was driving at the speed of 20 mph at most, was just killing me. I snarled loudly, stared at him fiercely and finally he cast me an obscenely calm look, his right eyebrow lifted.

"Jasper, pull over. I want to drive now. Immediately." I squinted my eyes menacingly to show him that I was dead serious.

I swear I saw the corner of his mouth twitch as his lips formed the lyrics of the song silently. _"We don't doubt, we don't take direction/ Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me."_ But he didn't bother to pull over.

I made an attempt to grab the wheel, but he slapped my hand away coolly. It was time for some serious begging. "Please, Jasper, please! Let me drive! I can't stand this. I'll go crazy. It's so damn slow! I've known mice that were faster."

He just grinned slightly and said quietly, "Edward, you always say that time is a relative construct to us vampires. So follow your own wisdom. Be patient."

I moaned desperately, "But speed isn't relative. You know where the gas pedal is, Jasper. Just put it to the metal!"

He showed neither reaction nor mercy.

"Where did you learn how to drive? On the golf course? You know that the car can drive at least 80 miles per hour, don't you?" I murmured angrily. He smiled at me leniently like I was some petulant child and directed his attention back to the road.

I stared at the dashboard in grim silence, while Jim Morrison asked his baby to light his fire. Which fire? I couldn't even see a weak spark.

The silence stretched over several minutes. The stereo was playing Monster Magnet now. "See you in hell". I was still grumpy.

Suddenly he looked at me with his golden eyes and grinned widely. Not fair! His grin is contagious and so I felt myself smile foolishly.

"We're like these guys from the TV show," he says, grinning even wider.

"Who do you mean?" I asked. "Statler and Waldorf?"

He knitted his brows, still grinning, "Who?"

My mouth fell open and I laughed at him, "God, I think you spent your whole life on the golf course! How can you be so illiterate? The "Muppet Show", damn it!"

"The grandpas who comment on everything?" he asked with a lifted eyebrow. "You got to be kidding me. No, we're not like the grandpas. I mean the guys who drive around in their car and investigate cases."

I pictured him in a pastel sports coat with shoulder pads, giggled helplessly and whimpered, "Miami Vice?"

He visibly tried to pull himself together, but then burst into laughter. He stammered, "No, you idiot! The show is about ghosts, demons and witches."

I continued snickering and replied breathlessly, "Angel and Spike? But who would be Angel and who would be Spike? As obnoxious as you are, you would probably be Spike. I'm too intellectual to be Spike and I'm not a nuisance."

He snorted indignantly, but was still laughing, "I wouldn't! You would be Spike! And you got it all wrong. I don't mean "Angel". The guys are exorcists."

It finally sunk in. "Ah," I giggled "you mean "Supernatural". But that doesn't fit, Jasper. They're brothers and we… you know."

He stopped laughing and just looked me in the eyes with a wicked smile.


End file.
